34 Year Old Sent to the Headmaster’s Office, Crying
I walked in her office yesterday and sat down. I started feeling choky as I crossed the threshold.
God is here.
I quickly took in the decoration on the walls, the elephants on her desk, the two chairs and the bookshelf. I watched her pull open a drawer with little toys for my toddler to play with while we talked. She offered my Wee One teensy tiny shells from the Bahamas and a little Japanese cup to put them in.
Then the headmaster opened her mouth, and I just started crying.
No, not because it triggered some bad childhood memory of being sent to the principle’s office! It’s because I sensed the presence of God. He surprised me. I guess surprises make me cry.
He keeps doing that!
I thought God sent me to the principle’s office to ask permission for one thing.
Instead, God sent me there to freely give me permission for another.
I found myself sharing just a bit about the trials we have been through, and I asked her thoughts on redemption. I needed someone to tell me it’s not all stolen forever. I needed to hear with my ears that everything that’s been taken, destroyed or threatened is not gone forever. I needed to stop fearing the future effects of the trials we’ve been through.
The principle could see that I was hungry, so she fed me. She gave me the Bread of Life. She gave me some verses to write out and put where I do dishes or in my bathroom, somewhere I'd see it daily. I put it by my old school phone.
Return to your stronghold, o prisoners of hope;
today I declare that I will restore to you double.
· Isaiah 58: 11
The Lord will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
She told me to write this down:
"After intense cultivation comes abundant fruitfulness and harvest."
Yes. Intense cultivation. Sun-scorched land. She is speaking my language. That's exactly what I've been through. How about you?
Then, she gave me homework.
She told me to go home and write down all the things that I need God to redeem. Things with my husband, my children, my family, health, ministry, etc. Everything that’s been threatened, destroyed, stolen, or killed. God gave me permission to tell him what’s brought me grief and heartache, fear and worry. And to ask him to fix it. It took me a few days to work up the courage. But as soon as I wrote down my list, the very next day, I already started seeing God answer! Our redeemer lives! Truly! And He lives to set you free!
For today, I’d love for you to just reread those verses and join me in this simple prayer:
Prayer for Today:
Lord, you know my heart. You are good and you are kind. You see me. Lord, you know how much I’ve been grieving over the things I’ve been through, grieving the losses and what’s been destroyed, and fearing consequences and impacts of those grievances in the future. Please start bringing those things to my mind. Be gentle with me. Give me courage to write them down. I’m glad you are my Companion. I’m thankful you never leave me nor forsake me. Be with me today, in these difficult broken places. I love you. In Jesus’ Name, amen.
Redeemer be with you.